I feel sorry for my daughter’s best friend. She emailed me today that she’s landed her dream job as an IT consultant at a major search engine. The problem is, she’s not allowed to tell which search engine. I can just hear the conversation she had with her mother.

“Ma, I got the job!!”

“Now can you tell us who it is?”

“Uh, no. They made me sign this paper that says no one is allowed to know.”

“Not even your own mother?”

“They said especially not mothers — family members. They didn’t actually single out mothers.”

“I would hope not! What kind of place is this that they make you keep secrets from your relatives?”

“A very big and powerful company, Ma. The kind that influences millions of people daily.”

“But what if you got married?”

“Ma! Enough harping about–”

“I’m not harping. When I’m harping, believe me, you’ll know. I’m thinking if a person were married, that piece of paper would put them in a difficult position.”

“I signed the not-in-a-relationship form. People with significant others signed a different disclosure.”

“Then you should get married so you can know what’s in that other paper.”

“You’re the one who wants to know!”

“Aren’t you the least little bit curious?”

“Well, maybe a little, but the point is–”

“The point is, you should be married! Your cousin Emma is married.”

“Emma’s married to a…look, there is one other thing. I’m not allowed to talk to you at work.”

“I never heard of such a thing, not talking to family members at work!”

“Not family members. Mothers.”

“They can do that?”

“This is a search engine giant. They can do whatever they want, Ma.”

“If I promise not to mention your cousin Emma can you talk to me?”

“Only if you also don’t mention her for the next six months.”

“Not even at home?”

“Especially then!”

“Well…I guess I can adjust to not talking to you at work. Now, I think I hear your boss calling you. Besides, I have to call your Aunt Martha and tell her my daughter got a job with a secret, fancy-schmancy company while her daughter is only married to a jerk.”