When I shop at the supermarket and the bagger asks me, “Paper or plastic?” I pause and tap my chin. “Let’s see,” I say. “Shall I kill a tree today or pollute the environment?” Clearly the teenagers who bag my groceries miss the irony entirely. The girls just giggle and look confused. The boys just appear clueless.

Such debates don’t end here. When it came time for installing replacement windows in our house before the divorce sale, we threw the question “Wood windows or vinyl windows?” back and forth for about a week. We opted, in the end, for vinyl replacement windows, since we wouldn’t be living there and they were a popular home improvement recommendation at local home improvement stores and in realtor newsletters we were inundated with when we started shopping around for the best real estate company.

Still, I have to agree with Kermit. “It’s not easy being green.”